The contract

June 1, 2014 SB and I signed a BDSM (Master/slave, Dominant/submissive) contract for six months.  That ended December 1, 2014.  Initially I was pretty torn up about the fact that SB didn’t care whether we signed a new one or not.  I went on a downward spiral for a few days, after I’d mentioned it… Continue reading The contract

Turkey Day

I got stuck in my own head tonight at work. Sounds silly but it happens… and it’s my old demons scratching at me again…. I’m afraid. Afraid of losing everything. All that’s precious and dear to me…. why? I’m not entirely sure, at this time. I seem to come here.. this despair, as it were..… Continue reading Turkey Day

topsy-turvy

This is a letter I wrote to SB… there’s a lot of stuff going on at “home” but not because of Him… a dirty hand has been dealt to myself and my roommate by the apartment complex… and she’s the type to not do anything or want to deal with conflict at all…. and I’m… Continue reading topsy-turvy

Doubts…

Here I go again… Doubting myself.. I know I’m not the most beautiful person in the world, but, today, I feel like I’m troll-ish ugly…. I know part of the problem is that I am a very emotional being, and with being a woman, when my period starts–especially when it hits me hard and hurts… Continue reading Doubts…

Long over due update

So many things have changed…  **sighs heavily**  Mostly good, but seems like so much chaos has been formed because of the changes… Some think I’ve (or SB and I) forgotten about them… when, in fact, that’s totally not the case… I’m hoping there’s not any hard feelings due to neglect or lack of communication…  If… Continue reading Long over due update