Anticipation 2.15.2014

Was up way too late with Budding, washing clothes and eating a late dinner/early breakfast….
my body knows it’s going to get to see you today.
I smile.
Awake way too early
but there’s so much to do today.
but not laundry.
I can’t help but smile again, and even give a soft chuckle to myself.

WHAT is it?
About you?
That I crave?
I don’t know. It’s not just sex, for either of us, though.
Butterflies of excitement surround my head and my heart.
I come to you, never knowing what will happen.

My heart’s more open than I can remember.
You both inspire me.
I have so much in my brain
screaming to get out.
I was scared to let anyone know,
I’m free to say what I want,
do what (or who) I want……

My life,
is not for everyone.
Thus, it is MINE, solely.

Some days the word DEVIANT scares me.
but in “normal/typical” society, that IS what I am.
but not wholly who I am.
I love who I love, the way I can love.

Am I “IN LOVE”??
I’m having too much fun to settle down with just one person.
Will I ever? **shrugs** I don’t know,
and, quite frankly, at this point, I don’t care.
I’m having FUN!! For the first time in a very long time.
If it’s not fun or enjoyable……… why the fuck do it?
for someone else? fuck that shit!!
Well, that’s not wholly truthful……
there are a few things that I do because they’re tolerable,
not fully fun, for me, but I’ll gladly sacrifice a small portion of myself
to see the complete joy on their face….. THAT is MY reward and my fun!

I’m still fucking wired, and we won’t come see you til later this afternoon….
my body’s screaming
**sighs** This too shall pass, well… intensify before becoming satiated.

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