Endings Bring New Beginnings 2.26.2012

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I was beginning to think that I was becoming more well adjusted…. more like even more suppressed… *shrugs* like many or any one cares. I’ve stayed stagnant, for the most part, while everyone around me is moving on, moving away, happy –or at least happier than they were. Have I brought anyone anything other than sadness? Even myself?
I’d like to think I’m doing things that are better for me……… **shrugs**

You offer your help so freely to others, but I have to beg for a simple kiss or hug? How “fair” is that? You’ll simply say “life’s not fair, Anna.”

Of course you do. Easy for you to say, cuz you always get what you want before figuring out what you (or I) need…….. of course I get stressed, because a lot of what is needed has to be bought, and when there’s nothing there to buy necessities with, after wants are taken care of first…….. I (naturally) get stressed…….

Getting tired of feeling like a failure and wondering if it’s all worth it? Is it going to be worth it? Would your life be all that much simpler were I no longer involved? I feel like such an appendage, one that’s covered up and never to be seen, unless it’s convenient.

Completely unnecessary…..that is me. My name only crosses your lips when you’re upset with me, and it never sounds loved or lovingly. I cringe at the sound of my own name…… so sad………

Why do I stay? Been asking myself that for months now……I used to think I din’t have a place to go, but I do. I have several places to go.

Walking around like a ghost, in my own house. Just going through the motions.


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