Here I go again…
Doubting myself..
I know I’m not the most beautiful person in the world, but, today, I feel like I’m troll-ish ugly….
I know part of the problem is that I am a very emotional being, and with being a woman, when my period starts–especially when it hits me hard and hurts a lot–it causes me to think too much, which in turn, makes me even more emotional… thinking about things that have happened recently… nothing wholly negative… just, the doubts come again.
Do I still turn you on? Does the feel of my skin still appeal to you? The thought of my mouth wrapped around your hard cock, does that still excite you? Am I boring? Do I cause you to work too hard as we have sex? Do you think I’m lazy? Do you think I’m ugly?
You see.. all these crazy thoughts run through my mind… I’m sometimes afraid to ask…. why? Because I’m afraid of the answer… though, I”m certain–most times– the answers are positive.. but, days like today, when I’m missing you horribly–yes, it’s only been a few days since we saw each other, I still miss you…. I long to have your arms wrapped around me, caressing me, as I bury my face in your chest wrapping my arms around you…. Sometimes, I just need you to hold me… I miss your touch… your gentleness and your strength at the same time. I know you care deeply about me… I can hear it when we talk… I know you miss me too, I can hear that too. The tenderness and compassion you have for me, I can hear it…. I just long to feel it right now.
I know, it’s “Movie Night,” tonight… and I’ll get to see you and feel you, though we’ll have a guest, and then we, hopefully, have tomorrow together…
I abhor my self doubts.
I miss you.
I hate the fact that I’m crying….
I’ll be better… more rest will help…I just couldn’t get back to sleep, earlier…